This year has been one long transition; a transition into a new church, a new home and new friends. This was a transition that I had been ready for. The previous chapter of our life, though really sweet, was one of the hardest that we’ve walked through on so many levels. I was ready to bookend the hard and start a whole new volume in the Wright Adventures.
However, the hardest part of this transition has not been adjusting to everything new. That part has actually become easy. Instead, the hardest part has been me. There has been a long internal struggle that I have been an expert at avoiding by working myself to the max. But this transition brought me rest from that. And in that rest I’ve been forced to face my inner turmoil.
The questions ever pressing on my heart: what am I doing? Where am I going? How am I leaving my footprint in this world? Why, after all these years, am I still wandering?
No longer distracted by work and familiar stressors, everything I’d been fighting to keep deep down had naturally risen to the surface. The restlessness of my heart and seeming lack of purpose are staring me down in the mirror.
Again, I hit the books, determined that my unfinished schooling is the perfect distraction to give me purpose and a career. But the more I force the distraction, the harder the questions of my heart press into me. I know this isn’t right for me, yet at the same time I have been lost in a sea of confusion of what is right. It seems that every decision I have made this year has been the wrong one.
Frankly, I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough wandering, questioning, confusion.
I am ready for rest. Not just physical, I’ve taken advantage of that (you can tell by my tan). I am ready for my heart to rest so I can be ready for my next adventure. I am ready for a year of clarity, for undistracted time with the Lord.
It seems I’m only at the beginning of the journey of self-discovery. I thought surely by 30 I’d have it all together. But for someone who never stays to static, it seems that this journey may be life long. And I’d like to invite you to join me.
I never had a clear vision for this blog when I started; I just knew that I like to write and wanted to share. But I would like to make this space sacred. I want to make this the space where I hash out my heart, and I’d like you to join me. To share with me and sit with me in the joy and pain, the depths of confusion and profound insight. And I’d love for you to share with me how you are growing and experiencing life in your world! Our journey in life doesn’t have to be hard, and we don’t have to do it alone. I hope my writing will become a glimpse into my heart and the small imprint I can leave behind on yours.