We have reached the point of no return. Change is happening. Its necessary. Its exciting. I’ve been praying for this change for quite some time. I am elated at the opportunities ahead.
And now its here.
But now I find myself holding on to the things I’ve so badly wanted to let go of. I find myself holding on to the familiarity of life that has developed, even though it was a heartbreaking and frustrating period of life. I am trying to find ways to revisit the old instead of embracing the new.
Why is it when change occurs in life we try so hard to keep things the same even when we know that change is good?
I pride myself on being a person who is constantly changing; never the same. In fact, I have the words Prone to Wander tattooed on my arm. And I mean it. I love to change. But when I am faced with a total life overhaul, its different. Suddenly the thought of life being unknown becomes uncomfortable.
In response to this unknown I am trying to fill my life with things that are known. Work. School. Endless projects. I am trying to find a way to fill my days so that I will know exactly what my life will look like as we venture into something that is so completely different.
But what would happen if I didn’t.
What would happen if I just let go of the expectations I have and just lived. Every day different. Every day a new adventure.
What if I just sat still in the arms of my Father? What if I found rest? What if I just listened when He said:
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NRSV)
So I am choosing to let go and learning to rest.
I am cutting ties with my expectations.
I am laying the heavy burden of busy on Christ.
I am choosing a season where I can just take life one day at a time so I can watch the Lord make amazing changes in me, my kids, my marriage, and the people that I will get to impact on a daily basis.
I am choosing to find contentment outside of my personal accomplishments. Outside of my personal expectations.
I am choosing the new. The unknown. The possibilities. The adventures. The peace. The joy.
I am letting go of my old way of life and holding onto Christ as He brings me through to the other side.