Panic sets in. It dawns on me; we may have just made the biggest mistake. Or maybe we’ve just entered a whole new world of blessings, unlike any we’ve known before. The period of waiting will begin. Trusting God is the only option we have.
We’ve just left the comfort of our home. We said goodbye to our jobs, our life and our security. Where we’re going is a mystery. We have our home and we have our jobs, but what the Lord has planned for us here is still unknown. I feel like we’re a mixture of Abraham and the Israelites. We’ve left behind our family, who didn’t understand, at the commands of God, heading to our Promised Land.
Now that we’re here I am beginning to wonder if we’re learning an Israelite lesson, patience. We know we’re in the center of his will and protection, yet sometimes, I feel that creep of discontentment coming through. I have seen how God has led us here, how He has so perfectly provided in ways we could have never imagined. And yet I question Him. I worry that His faithfulness will stop.
Fear rises up inside me and I no longer trust, I worry. The money is wearing more than thin, I begin to complain. I lose faith. I overwork myself to compensate. I disobey His commands of rest. I ignore the Sabbath. I do not ignore my time of worship; I ignore my time of rest. I work myself to the bone to make sure there is enough when instead I should trust that He is providing everything we need. I am so thankful that God has patience and wisdom beyond my understanding.
“You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” – – Isaiah 41:9-10
God has chosen me to be in the place I am. I chose to listen to Him. I chose to follow. To trust that He was not putting us into any danger that He couldn’t handle. It’s a daily struggle to let go of the wheel and let God lead the way. I may not know where we are going, but He does. And I can guarantee where He is leading is way better than where I could ever take myself. Fear only keeps me from His blessings. Trust allows me to rest in His promises and find true enjoyment and fulfillment in my life.
More than anything fear shuts out God’s presence from my life. When I worry I am focused on me. I try to do things on my own. I push His presence out of my life. And I fail. When I trust I am filled with His spirit and it strengthens me. I am filled with His grace and it blesses me. His when His blessings overflow and I find incredible peace.
I want to choose that peace. I want to choose daily to set my fear aside and walk in the light of His goodness. I want to seek out His presence and find my rest in Him. I want to surrender everything to Him.
It is a choice. A choice I must choose to make every day. And today I choose to trust Him. Tomorrow I will choose the same. What have I really got to lose in that?